Wilshire Square has amazing neighbors, but occasionally people don’t see eye to eye. We have put together a handful of resources that can help you navigate difficult situations with your neighbors.

  • Talk it out! – This might seem like the most obvious approach, but it’s not uncommon to feel shy about approaching your neighbor. They may not be aware that what they are doing is causing tension. A polite conversation can go a long way! Here are some consideration when talking to your neighbors:
    • Timing and Setting: Choose a time when both of you are likely to be calm and available, and a private setting where you won’t be interrupted. Avoid confronting them in the heat of the moment or when either of you is stressed or busy.
    • Clarity and Specificity: Clearly articulate the issue without assumptions or generalizations. Stick to the facts of what happened and how it affects you. For example, instead of “Your dog is always barking,” try “When your dog barks for long periods late at night, it makes it difficult for me to sleep.”
    • Focus on “I” Statements: Frame your concerns using “I” statements rather than “you” statements. This helps prevent the other person from feeling defensive. For instance, “I feel frustrated when…” instead of “You always…”
    • Listen Actively: Be prepared to listen to their perspective without interrupting or formulating your rebuttal. Try to understand their point of view and any challenges they might be facing.
    • Propose Solutions, Not Just Problems: Come to the conversation with potential solutions or be open to collaboratively finding a solution. It shows you’re interested in resolving the issue, not just complaining.
    • Be Respectful and Calm: Maintain a calm and respectful tone throughout the conversation, even if the other person becomes agitated. Escalating the conflict won’t help.
    • Know Your Desired Outcome: Before you talk, consider what you hope to achieve from the conversation. Is it a simple request, a compromise, or a long-term solution?
  • Report it! – Many of the common complaints with neighbors fall under existing city code guidelines. You can report issues like weeds, trash cans, year-round holiday lights, trash in yard, etc… on the mySantaAna app anonymously.
  • Mediation – If you’re having trouble finding resolution to your disagreement with a neighbor, Groundswell (formerly OC Human Relations Mediation Services) offers up to 8 hours of mediation services at no charge. They can help you navigate communicating effectively with your neighbor about difficult topics. https://wearegroundswell.org/mediation-services/

The Wilshire Square Neighborhood association can also help provide insight on ways you can try to address issues with your neighbors. With our extensive network of contacts within the city, we can help find the best resources to help with your particular needs.